When one or both partners experience symptoms of ADHD, relationship difficulties can begin to feel repetitive, frustrating, and deeply personal.

Challenges with attention, working memory, planning, time management, impulsivity, or emotional regulation may affect communication, household responsibilities, intimacy, parenting, and trust. One partner may feel overwhelmed, criticized, or as though they are constantly falling short. The other may feel unheard, alone, or responsible for keeping everything on track.

These patterns do not mean that care or commitment is missing. Often, both partners are working hard but have become caught in a cycle of forgotten agreements, frustration, criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal.

ADHD-informed couples therapy helps you understand these patterns, reduce blame, and develop ways of relating and organizing daily life that work for both partners.

My Approach: Systemic, Emotionally Focused and ADHD-Informed

My work with couples is grounded in systemic and family therapy and informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a research-supported approach to relationship therapy. A systemic perspective views relationship difficulties as patterns that develop between partners over time.
Therapy helps us look beneath frustration, criticism, or withdrawal to understand the more vulnerable emotions and attachment needs involved. ADHD-related struggles can sometimes lead to shame, loneliness, fear of disappointing one another, or sensitivity to criticism and rejection. Therapy creates space for these experiences to be understood and communicated more safely.
Alongside this emotional work, we develop practical and ADHD-friendly strategies. These may include creating clearer agreements, improving task division, making expectations more explicit, and finding communication structures that are realistic and easier to maintain.
I provide couples therapy in Amsterdam and online for couples living in the Netherlands or internationally. I work with couples across different relationship structures and identities, including LGBTQIA+ partners, supporting them in understanding relational patterns, emotional needs, and communication dynamics.

Couples May Seek Support With

Emotional escalation, impulsive reactions, criticism, or withdrawal
Difficulties with intimacy, connection, or making time for the relationship
Repeated conflict about household tasks, planning, or forgotten agreements
Forgetfulness or distraction being experienced as a lack of care
One partner feeling more like a manager or parent than an equal partner
Unequal mental load and difficulty maintaining shared routines
Understanding how a recent ADHD diagnosis affects the couple

What Couples Often Gain from Therapy

A shared understanding of how ADHD-related symptoms affect the relationship
Awareness of emotional and attachment needs influencing conflict or withdrawal (EFT)
Less blame, shame, and personalization of each other’s behaviour
More constructive communication during emotionally charged moments
Greater appreciation of each partner’s needs, strengths, and differences
A stronger sense of emotional safety, connection, and mutual support

Getting started

Seeking support does not mean that your relationship has failed. It can be an opportunity to understand each other differently and create a relationship that works with your needs rather than against them. Starting therapy can feel like an important step.

If you would like to explore whether working together feels right, you are welcome to reach out or schedule a brief introductory call.

My Approach: Systemic, Emotionally Focused and ADHD-Informed

Couples May Seek Support With

What Couples Often Gain from Therapy

Getting started

Are you open to adding a new tool to your toolbox, to think and feel differently?